A Monstrosity of Evil – A Dance Moms Recap

February 13, 2013
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A monstrosity of evil.  Am I talking about Abby?  No.

I’m talking about Christi not being on the show.  That, my friends, is a monstrosity of evil.  This show needs Christi like Abby needs insulin injections.

Anyway, let’s get this rolling.  We have a 90 minute show ahead of us.  Good God.  Sorry for bailing the past couple weeks.  Two weeks ago the episode was just lame and last week I was mad busy.  But here I am, so let’s do this.

Previously on Dance Moms:  Cathy got a lame … [Keep Reading...]

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Mockery!! – A Dance Moms Recap

January 23, 2013
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A lot of drama that wasn’t really drama in this episode.  I don’t have a ton to say about it, s0 let’s get right to it!

Previously on Dance Moms:  Melissa was a suck up, Abby cut Brooke from the group dance, and Abby took credit for a dancer being good that she didn’t even teach.

LIVIN’ ON THE DANCE FLOOR!!  Dammit.  Cathy is still on the introduction.  Someone tell the Dance Moms people that I’m unhappy with this, since apparently they don’t have the sense to read my recaps … [Keep Reading...]

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A Sad Day for the Ladies – Twitch is Officially Off the Market

January 22, 2013
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Well, ladies, if you were pining for one Stephen “Twitch” Boss, pine no more.

As of this past weekend, he is officially engaged.  And not just engaged, but engaged to So You Think You Can Dance season 2’s Allison Holker, who is also a big deal, but she doesn’t have a sweet ass name like “Twitch,” so she doesn’t get the same publicity.

Apparently the couple has been dating for about two and a half years, so I guess it was about time.  The pairing leaves an option open for … [Keep Reading...]

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Just Like the Good Old Days! Sort of. – A Dance Moms Recap

January 16, 2013
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Well that didn’t take long at all.  Let’s get right to it.

Previously on Dance Moms:  Kelly still gone, there’s some new bitches, and Abby ate a child.  I think.

LIVIN’ ON THE DANCE FLOOR!!!  Still my jam.

First things first.  Why are Cathy and her mutant child still on the intro?  No one cares about them and if they’re on the show, it’s for like three minutes each time.  Boo.

We start the show at ALDC, where Sophia and her mom show up.  Of course Abby is super sweet … [Keep Reading...]

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The Failed Dance Moms Redux – A Dance Moms Recap

January 9, 2013
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So.  That was…. interesting?

I don’t really know what to say about this episode except that it left me unfulfilled.  It was just kind of a cluster Funky Cold Medina of an episode.  But I guess we’ll get to all of that as we go through it.  So let’s get to it!

Last Week:  Kelly is still gone, Abby had auditions, and there’s some new wallflower mom.

LIVIN’ ON THE DANCE FLOOR!!!  Phew.  That really takes it outta me.

So here we are back at the studio.  Where’s Shelley?  No … [Keep Reading...]

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They’re Back Again! – A Dance Moms Recap

January 5, 2013
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Heyyyy everyone!  Been a while, huh?

Well, we’re back for another season of Dance Moms.  It may get interesting with no Kelly or Brooke or Paige, plus some new chicks who may or may not suck.  So kick back and relax with me as we journey through another painful season.  Without further ado, let’s get on to the season premiere recap!

Last season on Dance Moms:  Cathy was a bitch, Abby yelled a lot, Kelly contemplated pulling her girls out of the studio, and the girls won a national title.… [Keep Reading...]

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