Abby then mentions the inter-team texting to us and reiterates what Cathy said about texting the enemy. Can we all take a deep breath and realize it’s dancing? I mean, don’t you think these kids are a little young to have “enemies”?
Abby then corners Mackenzie to get the dirt. Mackenzie denies that Maddie kissed anyone backstage, but can’t deny that Maddie was kissed BY someone backstage. Gino. That little son of a B. Christi asked Melissa if they’re dating (as much as little kids can date). Melissa denies it.
I remember my first “girlfriend.” Fifth grade. Angela. Sounds heavenly, no? We didn’t go to the same school or anything. I think she was my dad’s co-workers daughter or something. We talked on the phone everyday for a week or so, and then for some reason I just stopped calling. Anyways, we never broke up, so I’ve been cheating on her with my wife for quite a while now. Sorry, Angela… wherever you are. Sigh…
Then again, she’s probably married now too. That cheating whore. I digress…
Time for Paige’s solo rehearsal. Abby gives her some lecture about how she’s awesome so people going to hate her. Yay! Go life. What do you think, Kelly? Oh, you’re pissed? Okay, cool.
Let’s rehearse the group number. Abby wants these “Bad Girls” to be nasty. So I guess it’s time to confront Maddie about texting boys? “Hey, don’t do that.” Wow, you really told her, Abby. Can you imagine what would happen if it were Chloe or a Hyland? Jeebus.
This leads the moms upstairs to talk about themselves being boy crazy. They all deny it, but Christi says she thinks if they’re not boy crazy, they’re at least crazy. I’m pretty sure it’s her way of telling me she’s in love with me, but I can’t prove that.
Hey, Kelly is talking again. And she’s pissed. Goodness gracious. What the hell is going on here?
As they rehearse the group number, the moms ask each other why Paige isn’t in the group dance. Kelly doesn’t want to even deal with it, because she’s still pissed. Jill, being the busy-body she is, decides to go confront Abby about Paige not being in the dance. She tells Abby that Kelly is having a fit about it. Nice opener. Then Kelly wanders downstairs and tells them to stop talking about her daughter, and then Kelly tells her that Kendall is the one with the problem. What?
So Jill strolls back upstairs sans Kelly and tells the moms that they need to “buck up” because shit’s out of hand. She’s tired of standing up to everyone and no one backing her up. Can’t really blame her, actually. But then again, she’s always sticking her nose where it shouldn’t be, too. Not sure why she thinking this matter concerns her at all. So Jill and Kelly yell at each other for a bit. Kelly looks pretty nuts, though. This is getting weird. She hopes the team loses. Yikes.
After the commercial, all of the moms except for Kelly are at lunch at some place that looks like it’s made entirely of wood and gallon wine jugs. The moms want to talk about what’s been up Kelly’s hiney and see if there’s anything they can do. Or to just gossip. But whatevs. They talk for a bit, and nothing really comes of it. Jill wants an apology from Kelly, but that shit ain’t happening. The one thing that does come is that they want to throw something nice for Kelly’s kids.
Shit. We’re back in Ohio with the Apples. Anthony has these kids at some gym that looks like Crossfit if it were made by a middle school gym teacher. Gino has been sick, and his dad, Mickey, is worried that it’s gonna mess with Gino, because he just recently got out of the hospital after a case of bronchitis. This dude went to the hospital for bronchitis? I’ve likely broken a bone in my foot and a bone in my hand in my life, and I never went to any damn hospital. Man up, kid.
Mickey stands in the wing complaining to Mickey about it, but Anthony ain’t havin’ it. They go back and forth a bit, and I don’t care. Oh, and now a little interview with one of the Candy Apple moms. What the hell is going on here? Get back to ALDC. No one cares about anything that’s happening right now, Lifetime.