Tell-Some, Part 2 – A Dance Moms Recap

by Matt on May 15, 2013 · 9 comments

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Another “audience question.”  “Hey there, Cathy has been kicking ass at competitions this season.  Does this worry you?”  Okay, a little more valid of a question, but if I had to guess, I’d say Cathy is about to come out on stage after this.

Oh hey, Cathy is coming out.

Cathy says her secret is to be nice to the kids, and they perform well.  WHAT?  Unheard of.  Jeff then asks her if she could have any dancer from ALDC to be at her studio, who would it be?  The answer is surprisingly Chloe, which would be cool, but Cathy ruins the moment by rubbing Christi’s leg and saying it’s stubbly.  Christi tells her that she gets laser hair removal.  Suck on that, Cathy.  P.S. – You’re gross.

Here’s another audience question, “drrrr… so, Cathy… if you had to have one of the moms babysit your kid, who would it not be?  drrr… see what I did there?  I put not in ti so she has to pick the not one.  The one not use babysitting not.  Drrrrr….”

I complain about these questions, but it’s not like Jeff’s questions are any better.

Cathy answers with the obvious choice of Holly, but then says Melissa as well.  Nah.

Okay, another audience question.  And get ready, because this tops them all.  A question from a chick who looks and sounds like she’d be on NPR.  “Cathy, I hear you like Downton Abbey.  Which character would you be and which character would Abby be?”

Fast forward.

Seriously, though…. there were no better questions in the audience than that?  That’s terrible.  I quit.

No, but really.  I’m fast forwarding through that answer.

So out comes Abby to hang out with Cathy, and Abby is just straight up mean.  I mean, I don’t blame her for the most part, but she’s still pissed about the love tap that Cathy gave her with her purse.  That shit was nothing.  It was like a breeze blowing on her.  Abby tells Cathy that she’s a piece of shit and calls her mother a pathetic disgrace.  I mean, I’m kind of a jack-hole, and I wouldn’t say that.  Well I might, but I’m hiding behind a computer, so that makes it okay.  Right?  No?  Okay, cool.

Anyway, basically Abby was a huge bitch to Cathy, who is usually the huge bitch.  And don’t get me wrong, Cathy was no peach either.  But Abby made her look like Mother Theresa tonight.  It was a bit off-putting.  And that’s how we end the show, until Kelly goes ff about how Paige is awesome to her, so they can all S a D.  After she went on that rant, I really just wanted her to say “SUCK IT, I’M OUT!” and just go find a mic to drop on the stage and walk off.  It was beautiful, but that would have been the cherry on top.

I don’t know.  Maybe I’m just disliking Abby more and more as this show progresses, but she’s getting to be intolerable.  What did you think?  Was Abby out of line?  Did you enjoy the show?  Was anyone in the studio audience able to pass the 3rd grade?

Let me know what you thought in the comments below, and thanks for reading!

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  • RadRose

    Haha best recap ever! I can’t stand Fake Kristie, she is so wearing a wedding dress. And Jeff. This guy is so awful!! Why do they let him host the reunion specials?!? Ugh. He’s the worst.

    I know they filmed part one and two all together, but I have noticed that this week he seems to have less terribly-awkward-transitions than last week. I was getting so annoyed during part one when he kept asking questions and then making abrupt transitions five words into the reply as if the dance mom he was interviewing had been prattling for an hour. It was maddening, no one could get out a complete thought!

    I don’t really mind the plugs for the other show, the dance competition one. It wasn’t as interesting as Dance Moms, but the dancing was good.

    Is it just me or are Abby’s girls and their moves getting redundant? I feel like even Maddie does essentially the same dance with exactly the same emoting every week. Watching Sophia perform is what’s really sending that message home. She’s amazing and even her brief reunion show dance felt fresher and more exciting than all the dances this whole season.

    You rock, I really love your recaps. Can we be BFFs?


    Well thank ya! And we are now BFFs. Can I borrow some money, though?

  • Emily

    Abby is out of control. Her ego could not be more over inflated. Cathy may have deserved some of it – but the shit about her mother crossed a line.
    My biggest concern about the little reunion show is that we were one over the top hand gesture away from a Kelly nip slip. Although, if she was really smart, she would have let it happen so people could start talking shit about that and leave Paige alone. And speaking of the Hyland’s, what the hell happened to Brooke this season? Has she gone off to Dance Moms exile somewhere?
    Final thought, Melissa didn’t wipe the lipstick off Mackenzie’s teeth before she performed. Bad parent.

  • Betsy

    It’s like watching child abuse and not doing anything about it. Abby is horrid.

  • @chiodo_lisa

    Abby’s big thing has always been that she produces “employable dancers” so wth is she doing having outside auditions & bringing in girls who are products of someone else? Seems a bit like cheating to me because (correct me if I’m wrong) but aren’t the other studios she’s competing against (Cathy doesn’t count) their own dancers? Not from all over the country (or known throughout the country-ahem-Asia)…and no- not one of the people in the studio audience passed the 3rd grade, their ??’s were an embarrassment …

  • Kimberly

    Okay, well heres the thing. I really dont mind Abby yelling at the kids once in a whille about things pertaining to dance (like pointing their toes). When your an elite anything you have to be tough, period. However, like you said I think she is going way too far. She wants money, and fame, and dosn’t want anyone getting in her way. I am pretty sure one of the reasons she hates Chloe so much is that Chloe does meet and greets without her, so that Abby doesn’t get paid any money. Maddie, Kenzie, and Kendall only seem to do meet and greets (or “Master Classes” whatever, with Abby). Abby wants to go off and expand her own brand with her Ultimate dance show, and show the other moms that she dosnt need them, but I actually kind of think she does. Which is why I urge everyone to not watch the show! Dont give Abby the ratings, if you do you are empowering a selfish greedy brat!
    I didnt have as much off a problem with the teacher Abby was in Season 1 than the teacher Abby is now. She puts all her frustrations with life on those kids, and then even leaves them during the summer to go film another show. The kid’s interests arn’t a priority for her anymore, but rather her own selfish gain. I also find the show a bit annoying because there are obviously things going on off camera, but nobody address it. They just go on with their storylines, and at times it is obvious that everyone is being fake. It also is kind of weird that the next season is starting so soon (in just a couple weeks). Which makes me think that they just started a new season so that contracts could be renegotiated which seems to always be a big issue on this show.
    Oh and just as a side note, I thought it was hilarious that during the season finale, Abby punished all the girls but Asia, by having them do 100 push ups! None of the girls, but maybe Brooke even seem like they were able to 20 push ups with good form, much less 100. Which made Abby’s request seem ridiculous and even comical. They are dancers, not marines!

  • Elizabeth

    I missed your recaps from past shows. All of my co – workers groan when I mention this show. That said, your recap is right on. Abby is on a ego trip. I wonder what her mother thought after the comments she made about Cathy’s mother. Never diss someone’s Mommy!!

  • MegRuss626

    So happy to have a recap to read again….makes me hate myself a little less for still watching this train wreck!!

  • Ashley

    Happy to have you back! I think reunion shows are terrible in general, but at least the girls performed. And some of the responses felt a little less scripted than parts of the show have been as of late…notice I said some. I think the show needs a longer break than 2 weeks…but I’ll be back to watching regardless. I’m addicted! I wonder if the cast is getting burnt out because of all the filming?

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