Obviously this was another planted question to bring out Christi and Jill. This whole crying scandal doesn’t really matter to anyone, except that it’s fun to watch Jill gets mad, because she shakes like an epileptic in a booty club. Fake Kristie thinks that the moms think that she doesn’t let Asia cry, which is because she doesn’t let Asia cry.
Christi basically tells fake Kristie that she like her, and that she knows she was just projecting because fake Kristie had other shit going on in her life. Fake Kristie is like, “What are you even talking about,” because apparently you can only talk about things if they happen on the show, and Christi don’t play that.
Abby chimes in to say that none of these kids should be crying because there are kids in Pittsburgh who don’t have food to eat while these girls are living the dream. This is dumb. It’s like saying, “Hey dude, don’t cry about your broken leg. There’s probably someone else somewhere who broke their back.” Yeah, well, breaking your leg still effing hurts, so S a D.
Christi tells Abby that she doesn’t know when crying became a crime. Abby, instead of saying something rational (but still irrational) like,” It’s not a crime, but I hate it anyway,” says, “When it happens four times a week.” Ugh. So is it a misdemeanor or a felony? What’s the maximum punishment, again? Stupid. As Christi says, “maybe if Abby wasn’t such a douche canoe to the kids, they wouldn’t have so many reasons to cry.
Kids cry. That’s normal. Next segment.
Although, it is funny to hear Melissa saying that Asia is so rehearsed with her responses. Pot, meet kettle. Also, Jill straight up says how awful Asia is in the group numbers, which makes me chuckle.
After the break, Melissa is out. Jeff asks Melissa if it bothers her that Abby said Sophia is the new Maddie. Melissa really just needed say, “Um, no. She was on the team for the time it takes Abby to eat a meal at Golden Corral.” Then he asks if it bothers her that Sophia can “out-spin” Maddie. Melissa chuckles at his use of “spin” instead of “turn,” and I can tell that inside she’s pointing at him with her thumb and going, “This f–king guy!!!”
Time for Sophia’s mom to come out. I don’t call her Jackie, because she just don’t look like a Jackie to me. She looks like Sophia’s mom. She comes out to say she’s about her daughter’s dancing and not the drama. The moms basically all want the show to be more about the girls, but Lifetime apparently ain’t having it. Abby uses this as a totally left-field segue to talk about how she made “Maddie” a household name. Dumb. Abby didn’t do that. Dance Moms did that.
This goes on for a while with nothing really happen, until I snap out of my daydream because I hear Cathy yapping about God knows what.
Oh hey, I snapped out just in time for a question from the audience. “Hey Sophia’s mom, do you think Sophia can out-dance Maddie?” Holy crap, lady. Have you not watched the last five minutes of this show? Someone escort this lady out.
After the commercial, Abby is now in the green room while all the moms and Cathy are out. Jeff asks what Holly and Kelly think about all of this, since they’ve been locked up for most of the show. Holly says a bunch of educated-sounding stuff, because she’s freaking Dr. Holly. She says it’s bullshit that Abby talks so negatively about them. Then Sophia’s mom asks the tired old question of why Holly stays there. Holly says Nia has improved at dancing under Abby, and taking her away from the studio would actually make Nia unhappy because she loved dance and she loves her friends. It’s pretty simple, really.
Christi chimes in to say that all the moms who aren’t sporadic character arcs on the show deserve to be there, because they were there from the beginning. The replacement moms just jumped on after the groundwork had been laid, hence the real moms being annoyed with them. Makes sense.