That’s a Wrap – A Dance Moms Recap

by Matt on March 27, 2013 · 9 comments

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Next up is Maddenzie, and they of course nail it.  Would you expect anything less from the Golden Child and the Cutest Little Girl to Ever Exist?

Now it’s Chloe’s turn.  She rocks it out to her fairy music and walks off the stage giving the tongue and metal hand.  Christi is pumped.  Abby is pissed.  “get out there and have attitude, except never do anything I don’t specifically tell you to do!”  Uhhhh… sure.

So back in the dressing room, Rachelle shows up to pep talk the girls before she leaves without even watching their number.  But while she’s there, Abby informs her that her dance basically isn’t her dance anymore.  Rachelle is like, “Oh hellllll no.”  The girls run through it for her, and Rachelle says Mackenzie can do it and puts her back in.  In yo FACE, Abigail!  It’s super awkward, which is what I live for.  The moms enjoy Rachelle’s backbone as much as I do.

As the girls get ready, Abby realizes she hates the costumes and didn’t tell them how to do their makeup.  Dude, Abby.  You invited her in.  Quit blaming her for everything.  Abby is vocally nervous about it.  We’ll see what happens.

The girls go out and do it awesomely, of course.  Abby stands by her decision, though, that Mackenzie shouldn’t have been in it.  Stupid.

Awards time!  Junior solos… Third place…. Kendall!  Uh oh.  Moving up!  Second place…. Some chick.  First place…. Chloe!  Bam!  Got ’em.

Junior duo/trio… Second place…. some other chick.  First place…. Maddenzie!  Score!  Two first places already.

Junior small group…. Third place…. Some group.  Second place…. Some other group.  First place…. ALDC.  Boom.  For the win.  Abby eats crow, but still takes credit for it because she trained them.  Funny how when Sophia was part of the team, Abby took credit for her when she did better than the ALDC girls, even though Abby trained the ALDC girls and not Sophia.  Hm.

The girls walk back into the dressing room (which is the whole damn band hall of the school).  They’re all pretty stoked.  The moms say how great Rachelle did.  Abby says she’s appalled.  So being at the top of every single category isn’t good enough.  Got it.  Soooo… maybe they can do better next time.  Wait, that’s not possible?  Yeah, that’s what I was thinking.  Hm.

Abby goes off about Kendall doing something for an argument with Jill that’s way too long.  Then she jumps to dogging Chloe about having too much attitude that she’s supposed to have.  Apparently she calls it changing the choreography.  Dumb.

Abby still wants more from these girls.  Good God, lady.  You annoy me like a mother effer.  She leaves after making feel everyone like shit for getting first place.   Thanks for the pep talk.

Next week we get Asia, and judging by Twitter, some people are pumped and some people are pissed.  Who is this chick?  And what did you think of this episode?  Let me know what you thought.   As always, thanks for reading!  My readers are cooler than the side of the bed that Abby doesn’t sleep on.  If she doesn’t take up the whole thing.  Bye!

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  • Emily

    Asia could be hit or miss. She’s a cute little girl, but completely over the top. And her mom is a super stage mom. Way worse than Jill.

    And I agree with you. This does feel like the never ending season. In typical lifetime fashion, they’ll continue to over play it until the world is tired of it. And the past couple episodes have been boring. Same old shit. Abby is a bitch. Maddie is queen of the world. Chole can’t catch a break and everyone else is filler material.

  • DM

    Actually, that was the real music to Chloe’s solo. I found a video of it on youtube a while ago from someone who was at the competition. Here it is

    I’m sure the mothers will all have many complaints about Asia and get in many fights with her mother. Asia is good but I remember her being very full of herself and her mom Kristy was quite obnoxious.

    First Hadley, then Zack, now Asia. I’m still not sure why they think it’s necessary to bring all of these kids from AUCD on to Dance Moms.

  • Erin Fleeger

    Asia… wow. I have mixed feelings about her. SHE’S A PERFORMER… She will, hands down, blow Cathy & her Candy Apples out of the water. Granted, she’s a kinda full of herself – but she’s also a pretty good little dancer (emphasis on LITTLE). Her mom is a handfull. But I thought she was WAY better than Hadley’s obnoxious mom, Yvette. I doubt Asia will stay long.. Just like Sophia & Zack were on for like, 1 episode – which was fine by me… so I’m not worried.

    I just watched the episode tonight & I’ve already forgotten the group dance – so it must’ve been kind of mediocre in my book – that’s not to say it wasn’t well done by the girls. Mackenzie is cute in everything she does, but when Maddie comes on, I just kind of slip into a tv coma so @ risk of sounding like old school American Idol Randy Jackson, the duet was “just ok for me, man”. Kendall’s solo could’ve been so great… but I got bored in the middle. Always feels a little like she’s walking around or stopping or doing something where she stands still for too long… or maybe I dreamed that when I dozed off. But I thought the 20’s theme was cool & she looked fab.

    What I DO remember was Chloe’s solo. She totally rocked it – like we knew she would! She looked fabulous & danced it well. I loved the rock & roll hand gesture & the tongue, lol. Bad@ss Chloe… Bad@ass… I thought the same thing about the music though – it just didn’t correlate for me. I was hoping for a little more electric guitar to go along w/ the costume, but hey…. I’m not in charge… which is a shame… 😉

    Favorite line of the show was when Christi said, “I don’t have a problem area, I AM A PROBLEM!” – Christi is the sh*t!!!

  • Allison

    The funniest part is that Asia’s mom is named Christi too (but I think its a different spelling). I missed your recaps, your as funny as usual!

  • Heidi Creamer

    Ugh. You shouldn’t have asked for my opinion of Asia.
    It’s wrong of me to thing badly about a little girl, but her and her mother are TERRIBLE!
    She had the worst little attitude and throws screaming fits.
    Remember how Abby always said that Chloe has an attitude and runs her mouth, blah blah blah?! Well, evidently these are her redeeming qualities in Abby’s eyes!
    Apparently Abby loves how much attitude she has, and her “face”!
    I’m sure Abby will compare her “face” to Maddie’s “face” and tell the rest of the girls that they can’t compare!
    Also, Asia is like 7, and doesn’t have good technique, yet Abby loves her! Again, because of “the face”!
    Anyways, enough ranting about this child. Really, I know I shouldn’t talk about children, but this is one kid that I’m not a fan of!

    Also, love your articles! I always LOL (seriously. I laught out loud).

  • Kim Tauscheck

    This was the most boring episode ever. Well, OK, besides watching Abbie go on a date, watching Melissa try on wedding dresses (although Christi saying how it’s her 3rd wedding, isn’t this a little over the top? Cracked me up!) I’m getting tired of all the boring filler scenes. I thought Mackenzie looked great, as always. Maddie’s “wonderful face” to me always looks like she either is taking a dump, smells a bad Taco Bell fart, or has dog crap on her shoe. Same face every freaking time and it’s crap. (See what I did there?) Nia BELONGED at the top of the pyramid! She ruled that group dance and because of her Rosa Parks, they beat Cathy. She has become quite the badass lately. Love her, but Abby just doesn’t give her the credit. Chloe looked and danced great! I’m so glad she had a solo, she deserves it! But we know she will be at the bottom of the pyramid because of her “changing the dance”. Kendall bores me. When she or Maddie dance (who also bores me and her arrogance is horrible) I can fast forward on DVR. YAWN! I swear Melissa is knocked up. So many times this season her belly is like WHOA! I think they are bringing this Asia chick in because they know this season is so boring. They tried Sophia, but her mom didn’t go crazy like they hoped. So on to the next one!
    Your blog rules! I feel lost when you don’t blog! No one else shares my twisted thoughts so perfectly!

  • Lisa Davis

    I totally agree with you. I just can not stand watching Asia’s pouty face and her so called fierce attitude. I want to put her in a ballet class until she changes , okay, everything. Mackenzie is charming and adorable. This kid is annoying and needs a time out.

  • Lisa Davis

    Did anyone else want to duct tape Abby’s mouth at the end of the show? Eat crow Abby and admit that Mackenzie was great in the dance and the costumes were fine and you were wrong. I will have a fit if Asia drops in and takes away any of Mackenzie’s dances or parts in a group dance. Asia’s mom has no taste and that kid will end up dancing on a table in Las Vegas due to mommy dearest. And did anyone hear something about Abby preserving her dog? Now that really is gross.

  • Kayla

    I need you to update. OMG please. I haven’t been on twitter, so I can’t watch you live tweet. Throw me a bone.

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