In the dressing room, Nia is getting ready for her solo and walks out in her costume, which hasn’t been seen by anyone yet. Holly put it together with little help from Abby, and the other girls ooh and ahh as she walks out. Abby hates it. She tells her to take it off, and she acts like Holly is retarded for putting it together.
Holly is nervous as Nia gets out on stage, but Nia kills it, as she’s wont to to. Black Patsy disagrees with me, thinking her daughter is the shit.
I disagree with that, since Nicaya looks pretty shitty out there. Abby does agree with me, saying that Nicaya may have actually digressed since she left.
Up next on stage is “Madison,” which is apparently Maddie’s full name that we’ve never heard until now. Weird. She does good, of course. Next. But wait, as she walks off stage, “Maddie would like everyone to know that her performance was dedicated to Broadway Baby.” This bitch.
The rest of the moms are piiiiiiissed. They look like they want to shank her. On the bright side, we know have both Black Patsy and Melissa for Christi and Kelly to bond in hatred over.
So all of the moms walk into the dressing sans Melissa and they’re steaming. Abby thanks Melissa in the hallway, and tells Melissa how much she misses the dog, saying “Imagine if you lost one of your kids,” because the two are totally comparable.
So Melissa comes into the dressing room and Kelly confronts her. Melissa says she just thought she should do something special for her since she was really close to the dog. Close to the dog. Sure. Christi thinks Melissa just takes anything good that they come up with and uses it to her advantage. She’s right.
All the girls and Abby come in, and Abby thanks Maddie for the dedication. Ugh. The moms continue to be pissed. Jill asks if the group dance will be the tribute, since that was the whole point, but Abby says no. She says that it doesn’t matter because no one was close to the damn dog except Melissa. Good God. What a stupid argument.
Out the girls walk from the dressing room in order to go to their half-improvised performance. The dance begins, and it seems really lame to me. I say “lame” instead of “retarded” in this recap because I lost a follower last night for saying “retarded.” I don’t get it. People can be so picky and choosy about what offends them. It’s offensive to call someone with special needs retarded. It’s not offensive to call a dance, something with no feelings or heart or brain, retarded. Okay, rant over.
The dance ends, and Abby thinks it was weird, but the technique looks good.
And just when we think we can just happily go to our awards portion of the show, Black Patsy opens her stupid mouth from the row behind Abby and Melissa and Holly. She asks them if they noticed how Nia was a beat behind everyone else (which she wasn’t). Then she goes on to say some more crap, which brings one of the best Holly-isms of the show’s history.
Patsy: She dance like she has to left legs, I knew she was a lefty.
Holly: I’m not engaging.
Patsy: Then why did you say something to begin with?
Holly: I’m disengaging.
So short and sweet and totally nailed her like she didn’t matter at all. Love it.
Patsy is annoying enough to even make Abby get up and leave. Patsy calls her a punk for it. Then she starts saying how Kendall can’t dance. Oh Lordy… It continues out in the hall.
Patsy says to Jill how she thought Nia was the shitty dancer, but Nia is dancing circles around Kendall. Jill then says that they think Nicaya blows. Patsy starts cussing and carrying on, so of course we go to commercial.
Upon the return, Patsy starts getting up in her face to “show her ass hood.” Christi gives a great breakdown of the situation if you want to see it. Hilarious. Abby apologizes for the situation, and Patsy walks off saying F##K Y’ALL!” which makes everyone gasp in horror like they don’t say it to each other all the time.