Every Dog Has Its Day – A Dance Moms Recap

by Matt on February 27, 2013 · 19 comments

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In the dressing room, Nia is getting ready for her solo and walks out in her costume, which hasn’t been seen by anyone yet. Holly put it together with little help from Abby, and the other girls ooh and ahh as she walks out.  Abby hates it.  She tells her to take it off, and she acts like Holly is retarded for putting it together.

Holly is nervous as Nia gets out on stage, but Nia kills it, as she’s wont to to.  Black Patsy disagrees with me, thinking her daughter is the shit.

I disagree with that, since Nicaya looks pretty shitty out there.  Abby does agree with me, saying that Nicaya may have actually digressed since she left.

Up next on stage is “Madison,” which is apparently Maddie’s full name that we’ve never heard until now.  Weird.  She does good, of course.  Next.  But wait, as she walks off stage, “Maddie would like everyone to know that her performance was dedicated to Broadway Baby.”  This bitch.

The rest of the moms are piiiiiiissed.  They look like they want to shank her.  On the bright side, we know have both Black Patsy and Melissa for Christi and Kelly to bond in hatred over.

So all of the moms walk into the dressing sans Melissa and they’re steaming.  Abby thanks Melissa in the hallway, and tells Melissa how much she misses the dog, saying “Imagine if you lost one of your kids,” because the two are totally comparable.

So Melissa comes into the dressing room and Kelly confronts her.  Melissa says she just thought she should do something special for her since she was really close to the dog. Close to the dog.  Sure.  Christi thinks Melissa just takes anything good that they come up with and uses it to her advantage.  She’s right.

All the girls and Abby come in, and Abby thanks Maddie for the dedication.  Ugh.  The moms continue to be pissed.  Jill asks if the group dance will be the tribute, since that was the whole point, but Abby says no.  She says that it doesn’t matter because no one was close to the damn dog except Melissa.  Good God.  What a stupid argument.

Out the girls walk from the dressing room in order to go to their half-improvised performance.  The dance begins, and it seems really lame to me.  I say “lame” instead of “retarded” in this recap because I lost a follower last night for saying “retarded.”  I don’t get it.  People can be so picky and choosy about what offends them.  It’s offensive to call someone with special needs retarded.  It’s not offensive to call a dance, something with no feelings or heart or brain, retarded.  Okay, rant over.

The dance ends, and Abby thinks it was weird, but the technique looks good.

And just when we think we can just happily go to our awards portion of the show, Black Patsy opens her stupid mouth from the row behind Abby and Melissa and Holly.  She asks them if they noticed how Nia was a beat behind everyone else (which she wasn’t).  Then she goes on to say some more crap, which brings one of the best Holly-isms of the show’s history.

Patsy:  She dance like she has to left legs, I knew she was a lefty.

Holly:  I’m not engaging.

Patsy:  Then why did you say something to begin with?

Holly:  I’m disengaging.

So short and sweet and totally nailed her like she didn’t matter at all.  Love it.

Patsy is annoying enough to even make Abby get up and leave.  Patsy calls her a punk for it.  Then she starts saying how Kendall can’t dance.  Oh Lordy…  It continues out in the hall.

Patsy says to Jill how she thought Nia was the shitty dancer, but Nia is dancing circles around Kendall.  Jill then says that they think Nicaya blows.  Patsy starts cussing and carrying on, so of course we go to commercial.

Upon the return, Patsy starts getting up in her face to “show her ass hood.”  Christi gives a great breakdown of the situation if you want to see it.  Hilarious.  Abby apologizes for the situation, and Patsy walks off saying F##K Y’ALL!” which makes everyone gasp in horror like they don’t say it to each other all the time.

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  • http://twitter.com/EmilyF725 Emily

    I was ready to boycott if Christi and Kelly didn’t make up. Just glad it was Kelly that she told to “wrap your arms around me and squeeze”. If she ever says that to Abby, we might all wanna start writing her eulogoy because Abby will purposely squeeze the life out of her.

  • Christy and Bri Xandrick

    Oh Straight Guy! Yet another doozy! Yes, we are thrilled that Kelly and Christi are buddies again! I am just hoping we can get back to moms and kids and dancing. These vindictive road trips to meet up with interstate rivals are too made up and over produced and just plain exhausting!
    But loving the live tweets with you and the recaps are awesome! Keep it up!

  • Jessica Montague

    I’m just glad you mentioned Jill’s dumb hat. Well done.

  • Shannon

    I feel like these episodes get more and more pointless. My husband, who often does the pretending-not-to-watch watching thing, was legit appalled that the entire episode centered around drama created by a dog. Can’t say I disagree… Glad Christy and Kelly are friends, though last week’s tweets between them were weird if they’re cool again. Great recap as usual though!

  • MegRuss626

    I was looking on a dance moms forum and totally found an excerpt from Black Patsy’s fb page and sadly, I’m totally buying her story…..

    Posted February 28, 2013 at 11:35 am
    “Kaya Uncesnored” Her FB post…

    Had to make this status PUBLIC)
    This will be my very LAST time commenting about Dance Moms. While I don’t feel the need to defend myself or my actions…I would like to set some facts straight and answer the million questions that have flooded my inbox:
    -All the moms (and Abby) curse on Dance Moms…why am I “ghetto” for doing so too? Don’t label me because I don’t talk “white’ enough. I’m from East St Louis and that’s how we sound. One’s dialect doesn’t define their level of education neither does the use of profanity. I am human & subject to getting angry just like everyone else…..
    -We never auditioned for Dance Moms. We were asked to appear on the show because of Nicaya’s reputation for being a great dancer & my reputation for being a “stage mom’. We were also noticed by the Lifetimr execs when Nicaya auditioned for Abby’s Ultimate Dance Competition and made the top 20 (but not the final 14). For those of you saying she just a.mediocre dancer…..has YOUR dancer accomplished as much?
    -While the first episodes appeared on were unscripted, this NEW season IS scripted and fake! The power of editing will amaze you.
    -We were NOT.disqualified from the competition. I have her score sheet and award to prove that she tied with Nia. I also have a copy of the email that I sent to the producer, Bryan Stinson, asking that he make it appear as though we were kicked out because we were not able to stay for awards. We left early because we wanted to attend our studio’s holiday party and a candle light vigil for a fellow dancer who died the day before (you can that we were wearing Clare’s photo on our shirts at the competition)
    -While I don’t deny having a potty mouth, the producers nearly FORCE us to altercations with each other (for ratings of course). They will keep you on the set until they get “good” material. If you want to go home (because you’re not paid per hour) you raise hell so you can go home! You are bound by a contract to finish your episode. It can take a few hours or a few weeks (and you’re not paid for your time). So if you want to go home…you give the people what they want.
    -Abby does not compete at real competitions. If you watch her shows closely, the same announcer is always at.competitions. He owns In10sity Dance. He works for Abby and his job is to arrange competitions in different cities for ALDC to compete at. He changes.the name in each city (Xpression Dance, In10sity, etc). They search REPUTABLE competition websites for their competitions results in each city. Then they invite the lower scoring studios to competitions making it easier for ALDC to win. When they came to St Louis, they didn’t invite Renee Johnson’s (who is a personal friend of Abby), Excel, NV Dance Force or even Charmette because they don’t want real competition. No offense to any studio who attended the competition, but this is how they ensure that ALDC wins (although they’ll occassionally let someone else win to make it seem fair).
    -With the exception of Mackenzie, all of the girls are between 11-13yrs old…..yet none of then compete in teen aside from Brooke. Unless another studio questions their ages and asks for birth certificates, they’ll keep getting away with lying about being 9yrs old. How has Maddie been 9 since the shows premiered 2 years ago?
    -ALDC has been banned from reputable competitions (Showbiz, Primetime, Masquerade, NYCDA, etc) because they lie about their wins. Any real competitive dancer knows that their can be mutiple 1st place scores. And ONE dancer cannot win the WHOLE competition. He/she can only win her age group/category. Also, a real competition would have far more dancers onstage for awards and in the audience. This proves that they put together last minute competitions in each city and very few studios attend.
    – We never moved to Pittsburgh to attend ALDC. Once again….we were invited, we wanted the money, enough said.
    -Nicaya has danced since she was 3yrs old (at Carol Christy School of Dance). She started competing at age 6 (Best Dance & Talent Center). At age 9 she moved to Charmette Academy of Dance and Acrobatics where she has received advanced training that allowed her to win multiple awards, scholarships, an opportunity to dance with the world renowed Joffrey Ballet, and enabled her to be recognized by Lifetime to begin with. She is a well rounded dancer who does tap, ballet, hip hop, jazz and contemporary/modern dance. It is MY choice that she doesn’t do acro.
    -The name Black Patsy came from my mom who jokingly said I act like Patsy Ramsey when it comes to my kids and their activities. I push them to be their best and put all my time, money, and energy into ensuring that they succeed in all that they do. I don’t think JonBenet Ramsey’s demise is a laughing matter. Lifetime heard about my moniker and thought it was witty so we ran with it.
    -Any further questions, comments, concerns about Black Patsy/Kaya/Nicaya and Dance Moms will ONLY be answered TODAY! Tomorrow my REAL life starts again and I have no further dealings with the trash that IS, Dance Moms.
    (And for those who hate me or my daughter….stay off my page and KISS MY A$$! You’re jealous because YOU and YOUR “mediocre” dancer didn’t get the same opportunity/national recognition. Whether you agree with my behavior or not….it served it’s purpose. My daughter’s name is out there. The world knows she has at least an ounce of talent, and YOU can’t say the same).
    Next????

  • http://twitter.com/sgwwgs SGWWGS

    Ooooh, interesting. Thanks for the post!

  • http://twitter.com/sgwwgs SGWWGS

    Yeah, I agree about the tweets thing. I was thinking the same thing. But women do hold grudges forever, so who knows.

  • http://twitter.com/sgwwgs SGWWGS

    It was really dumb.

  • http://twitter.com/sgwwgs SGWWGS

    My favorite mother daughter combo (besides Christi and her girls of course)! Yeah, “exhausting” is a good word for it.

  • http://twitter.com/sgwwgs SGWWGS

    If that tension went on much longer, I was going to stop watching. Who am I kidding? I was just going to hate myself more for continuing to watch.

  • http://twitter.com/JenniferRichele Jenny B

    You sir, are hilarious!!

  • Rachel

    I assume the producers of the show request them to “play it up” since the show we see is recorded 7ish weeks before it airs. in a recent interview of Christi from the Huffington Post, she explains that she and Kelly are great, so no worries.

  • http://www.facebook.com/srosenbauer Sara Rosenbauer

    So there’s Nicaya, Niyala, Nia, and Kaya.. huh! I’m confused! Black Jonbenet.. omg dying. And on the “retarded” thing…some people are just too “politically correct” *rolls
    eyes* I lost a friend over calling something “gay” once and she was a lesbian…so
    sue me.

    What I didn’t understand is why it was okay for Black Patsy to say Kendall sucked to Jill but when Jill said Nikaya sucked it’s sooo offensive and uncalled for and reason enough to explode massively.. Hypocrite! I absolute can’t stand her and I hope
    she is never shown again on this show. Kendall has improved massively and I
    disagree that Nia dances circles around her (sorry). Too bad for Nikaya having
    her solo pulled…that’s what you get for having an uneducated, rude and awful
    mother!

    “Next week, it looks like Abby will be speed dating, which
    will be the first time “Abby” and “speed” have been used together.” LOL!!!!

  • debra roland

    ooooo, the gutter snipe is trying to defend herself. Sorry BP but if you think that exposure helped your daughter, you are mistaken. Your daughter was shown on tv as cussing, making fun of others” as bad as you were. YOU said “go hood on yo ass”. Lifetime didn’t force you to do one thing. The truth of it is that you are blind jealous of the ALDC, especially of Holly and Nia. Crawl back under your rock trash.

  • debra roland

    Yes! Somebody, please, tell Jill to lose the hats. She looked like a pimp. :)

  • fred burrows

    That’s pretty much how it went down as I recall. I did notice that Christi didn’t live tweet this week so naturally I was crushed as I had no words or phrases for the drinking game. Fun read it was .

  • http://www.facebook.com/cassandra.sheppardprice Cassandra Sheppard-Price

    When I told my boyfriend that Abby’s dog had died, he responded that Abby must have eaten it…

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Lisa-Davis/100000645975537 Lisa Davis

    I believe her. No reality show is a documentary. I am sure they chose people who are colorful to add drama and that they might invent competitions or go to really small ones where their chance of winning is much higher.

  • cccccc

    hey

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