Mockery!! – A Dance Moms Recap

by Matt on January 23, 2013 · 8 comments

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Okay, awards.  First place in the junior solos?  MACKENZIE!!! WOOOOOO!!!  Third place Intermediate solo?  PAIGE!  YE-YEAH!!

Highest scoring duet trio??  Maddie and Kendall!  BAM!  Suck it.  Is Abby shocked?  “No.  They were looking at Maddie.  Guaranteed.”  Rude.

Time to do the group number now.  Christi says they’ll be fine because Sophia was never there anyway.  Abby says, “yeah, but compare Sophia to Kendall.  Not even close.”  Rude.

Christi once again reminds Abby that these girls were all taught all they know by Abby, so it’s on her.  She can’t quite get that through her candy-coated head, though.

They go out on stage, and these costumes are weird.  They look like they immigrated from the move Van Helsing.  They look like weird ghoulish creatures.  The routine itself is okay, but it doesn’t do much for me.

Abby thought it was good, but we all saw Kendall kinda suck, and Abby definitely saw it.  They know an ass-chewing is coming in the dressing room.  Abby calls Christi out for calling it amazing, God forbid.  Abby says even she herself doesn’t wake up amazing.  It takes her hours to get that way.  False.  Abby is not amazing when she wakes up, when she goes to sleep, or during and of her fourteen daily meals.

Ah well, awards time.  Will they get first??  BOO YA!  They do.

The moms are pumped back in the dressing room, but Abby walks in and mocks Christi about it being amazing.  Abby says they got lucky and tells Kendall she screwed the whole thing up.   My favorite Sassy Kendall strikes back and says she only messed up one part, so screw off.  She didn’t say screw off, but she thought it.

And that’s how it ends.  Next week the replacement dance moms and girls will be at the competition.  Interesting.

This week’s episode didn’t do much for me.  What did you think?  Is Kendall becoming more awesome? Does the show need to pick up a bit, or is it just me?

Thanks for reading, and don’t forget to follow me @sgwwgs on Twitter to see my live-tweets during the show.  Leave a comment, and see ya next time!

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  • Hope Crawford

    This recap is tidy, yo. Lol.
    I’m actually beginning to like Maddie, which is totally weird because I have always disliked her. She’ll never be as awesome as Chloe, though.

  • Allison

    Love your recaps! You love Chloe and Mackenzie, starting to like Kendall, think Nia is overlooked, and you don’t like Maddie(‘s facial expressions), but what do you think of Brooke and Paige? You never really clearify.

  • Larissa Hipp

    It’s not just you. The show definitely needs to pick up.

  • Sara Rosenbauer

    Nicee recap again :) Poor Kendall was all I thought the whole time and I also thought “where are Chloe and Christi” because they were almost nonexistent Nia-style the whole episode. But apparently next week it starts to pick up! Woo!

  • Mary Beth Solomon

    This episode was mostly meh…the drama llama is getting so old. Abby will never admit that her name wouldn’t be out there without the girls and the moms. She totally believes that it’s the other way around. I think she keeps creating more drama so that people will continue to recognize her name, but in doing so she not only hurts herself but makes herself look like a total bitch as a teacher. She’s a very jealous, bitter lady who never got her time in the spotlight. Would love to see her genuinely happy for the girls but I won’t hold my breath.

  • DM addict

    New reader – and seriously missing your recaps!

  • Lisa Davis

    How did I miss this review? I remember thinking that Abby was making a fuss over a girl who was not there and that she did not know what immigration was about. The costumes were so bad that the poor girls looked like it was Halloween. Mackenzie was so cute and saved the day. I liked the duet and all the drama was really boring. Seemed even more staged than usual. But that rat scene was GROSS! Holly was smart to get out of there. Ever hear of the plague Abby?

  • RadRose

    I’m watching the reunion show last night and I found your recaps by searching ‘why does the music on dance moms always suck?’ – lol. I’m sure it’s some kind of copyright drama but I’m so over the shitty unheard of songs these kids dance to. I also HATE this producer who hosts the reunion shows. Someone needs to explain to him that he is NOT Andy Cohen! Ugh.

    Anyways, hilarious post. Mad tidy.

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