Previously on Dance Moms: Melissa got pissed about an affair that did or did not happen, Cathy sucked, Maddie turned down a solo, and Jill still exists.
LIVIN’ ON THE DANCE FLOOR!!! Yes. Yes yes yes. My jam.
So the girls and the moms enter the studio. We’re reminded of how they beat Cathy last year in the group number, and then it’s straight to the infamous Pyramid. Who will be on the top this week?? Last week was Nia, because Abby done lost her mind. Or found it, I guess, in this situation.
Last place this week is Paige, because she didn’t dance. And next to her? Maddie! BOOM! That’s what happens when you say no to Abby. Finally, a chance for Chloe to get back to the top. Wait, what? She’s on the bottom row next to Maddie? Even though she killed her solo and only lost by a tenth of a point to a guy, and supposedly guys always win dance competitions anyway just because they’re guys? Got it.
On the second row, in third place, is Brooke. Why? Because of the goddamn bonnets. I think Abby said she did a good job, so umm.. welcome to third? Who’s in second? Mackenzie!! WOOOO!!! My girl.
Wait wait wait. So Kendall must be on top, right? Oh snap! It’s Nia again! A rational decision two weeks in a row? Madness.
And that means Kendall isn’t on the pyramid again. So you know what that means. We’re going to hear about it from Jill. So Jill says just that and Abby reminds her that Kendall is just a temporary replacement for Paige. Abby actually makes a good point, saying that actually being on the team requires commitment, and we haven’t seen that from her yet. Not on screen, at least.
This week there is no competition. It is just the end of the season recital. The Recital to End All Recitals, you might say.
So they’re going to put together a new routine for this, because they just don’t know enough dances that they could perform at this recital. The new one will be called “Light My Fire” and it’s hip hop. That’s right. Hip hop. That’s good, because these girls are known for their booty-poppin’ swag.
Abby also seems to think Paige can do this routine. If there’s one thing I know, it’s that a broken foot should never prevent you from doing hip hop. Kelly says the doctor has to approve, and Abby agrees and says she can dance in the boot. Sounds liberating.
Now remember, Kelly actually danced at ALDC back when she was a young’n, so Abby asks her to get some of her old dancemates to come to the recital. I avoid contact with anyone that I haven’t seen in more than like a month, just because I hate that whole “How have you been, what have you been up to” conversation, so I can’t imagine how it would be to call people you haven’t talked to in twenty years. Barf.
Also new at the recital this year: One person will be chosen from each age level at ALDC to win a “very generous” cash scholarship. Just what these girls need. More cash.
Time to rehearse the hip hop number. Up in the booth, the moms discuss how awful the girls are at hip hop. It’s hard to argue with them. These chicks look goofy out there. Kelly also tells the moms that she has no contact with any of her old dance people, but she needs to get them there, or her kids will suffer for it. Hey Kelly, try this: ” Hey, I I know I haven’t seen you in a while, but… wanna be on TV?”
Now Abby is trying to brainwash Paige into dancing. Sweet.
Holly tells the rest of the moms that she’d rather have a root canal than go through the week surrounding The Recital to End All Recitals. You know good times are coming if she feels so strongly about it.
Oh hey, Jill is complaining about Kendall not being on the team again. This is fun. Kelly reminds her that she left, and that’s why she’s not on the team, so now she has to wait around for audition time again to try and get back on. Jill responds by saying that Brooke also left the team to go be a cheerleader. Kelly is like, “Nah uh, girl, my Brookie was excused to leave and go try out.” Jill then says Kelly always has an excuse and blah blah blah. Annoying Jill argument. Going to a different studio, especially an arch-rival’s studio, is obviously different.