(Note: I kind of wrote this one in train-of-thought as I watched the show the first time instead of going back and watching again and writing, so it may feel a little different. Let me know if it’s better or worse or the same!)
Tonight was an outrage. Poppycock! Malarkey! One might even call it balderdash. I’m left so unhappy and so unfulfilled. Anyways, on with the recap….
Oh, hello there, Cat. Don’t worry, I can appreciate your beauty behind that weird Fraggle Rock-looking dress.
Already with the awkward intro dances, huh? Wait… That means there’s no opening number, right? What the eff? Now I’m all thrown off. Aaaaaand the audience is out of control.
Tonight, all of the dancers are going to be dancing Mia Michael’s (who apparently grew some better hair) best routines. Oh snap! We’re eliminating four people tonight? Damn. Now I’m all nervous and shit.
The judges tonight? Nigel, of course, who seems very excited to be back. Mary, who looks rather dashing tonight. And the guest judges are two totally straight-looking internationally known ballet boys. And for the purposes of me not knowing who these guys are or why I should give a shit about them, we shall refer to them as Dirty Blonde Ballet Boy and Dark Brown Ballet Boy.
Ooooh, and there’s a SYTYCD app now. Goody. Let me know how it is so I don’t have to get it. Aaaaand NappyTabs had their baby. Awwwwwwwww. All cute and what not.
Oh hey, here’s the group routine. Lots of kissing going on in this one! This is really freakin’ cool. Nicely done, Ms. Michaels. She’s still got it, folks!!
On to the dances! But first, we’ll hear each dancer’s favorite SYTYCD moments.
Eliana and Cyrus:
Cyrus’ favorite moment was when that one little dude got on stage and danced all robot-like like Cyrus does. I remember that, and it was grand. Eliana takes it back to Season 3, when there was some peace dance that was on long before I watched the show.
This week, they’ll be doing Mia’s number with the door, originally done by Katie and Twitch in Season 4. Eliana doesn’t think she can dance like Katie, so she’s gotta bring her own swag to it. And here comes a practice kiss. Oh God, so awkward. These two are hilarious.
And there’s the real kiss! That was open mouth, dude. I totally thought her fingers were about to get smashed when he closed that door. They freakin’ nailed that one. Entertaining, and both of them kicked ass. Plus he kept her out like a boss.
The cool part tonight is that they all are going to have good choreography. More of an even playing field. Nigel liked Cyrus, but thinks he needs to work on lowering his shoulders. He was surprised that Eliana didn’t “kick his ass outta there!!” You so crazy, Ni-dawg. Mary enjoyed it, and said Eliana was “Swag-arocious.” Oh, Lord. Dirty Blonde Ballet Boy thought they were strong performers, and sounded like he was going to say mean things, but then he didn’t at all. It was weird. Dark Brown Ballet Boy liked it and didn’t have much to say.
And now it’s time to talk about National Dance Day. I love me some National Dance Day, but since I’m watching this recorded and I’m sleepy, I’ll fast forward this segment. (fast forwards)
Wait, wait, wait… Nigel was just talking about going to dance with the Bucs cheerleaders and Cat told Mary to make sure he stays in his seat the rest of the show. I know a boner joke when I hear one, and I’m pretty sure that was a boner joke!
Tiffany and George:
Goerge’s favorite moment was Wade Robinson’s RamaLama dance or something in Season 2. Forgive me. Many of the moments are way before I got married and started watching this. Tiffany’s favorite moment was one I saw, when Twitch opens the door and Ellen is there hanging on it. That was pretty damn funny, actually. And by the way, is that not the same door we just saw Eliana and Cyrus use in their routine?
These two will be doing a number from Season 4. I’m not familiar with this one, but it looks promising. Mia thinks they’re going to “murder it,” so let’s see.