August 2012

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Here’s the definition of love:  A man buys Madden 13 the day it comes out and doesn’t play it because he’s writing a Dance Moms recap for his readers.  Don’t say I never did anything for ya!

Previously on Dance Moms:  Recital was good, Jill got annoyed about stuff, Leslie was an A-hole, and Maddie got a scholarship.

LIVIN’ ON THE DANCE FLOOR!  YES!  (It’s possible that I danced a little when I heard it this time)

So time for the first rehearsal of the week.  Abby tell the girls … [Keep Reading...]

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Post image for Ain’t No Party Like a Dance Moms Party – A Dance Moms Recap

Previously on Dance Moms:  Melissa got pissed about an affair that did or did not happen, Cathy sucked, Maddie turned down a solo, and Jill still exists.

LIVIN’ ON THE DANCE FLOOR!!!  Yes.  Yes yes yes.  My jam.

So the girls and the moms enter the studio.  We’re reminded of how they beat Cathy last year in the group number, and then it’s straight to the infamous Pyramid.  Who will be on the top this week??  Last week was Nia, because Abby done lost her mind.  Or found it, I … [Keep Reading...]

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So You Think You Can Kick Off Four Dancers Again?? – A SYTYCD Recap

August 16, 2012
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(Note: I kind of wrote this one in train-of-thought as I watched the show the first time instead of going back and watching again and writing, so it may feel a little different.  Let me know if it’s better or worse or the same!)

Tonight was an outrage.  Poppycock!  Malarkey!  One might even call it balderdash.  I’m left so unhappy and so unfulfilled.  Anyways, on with the recap….

Oh, hello there, Cat.  Don’t worry, I can appreciate your beauty behind that weird Fraggle Rock-looking dress.

Already with the awkward intro … [Keep Reading...]

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There’s a New Word! – A Dance Moms Recap

August 15, 2012
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I woke up to realize this morning that I’ve been married for three years today.  Sure, I could do something super sweet and loving for my wife.  But really, when you sit and break it down, what better way is there to celebrate than to sit down and write about all other drama on Dance Moms last night?  Am I right??

And what a night it was.  Pretty intense, huh?  Let’s get to it.

Previously on Dance Moms…  Paige broke her toe, Kelly kept both daughters out from dancing, and … [Keep Reading...]

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So You Think You Can Continue to Be Wicked Late With Your SYTYCD Recaps – My Bad Again

August 14, 2012
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So I’m over a week and a half late.  Myyyyy bad.  Soooo sorry for having a real life and stuff.  And sure, that real life is boring as shit, but it’s my boring life.

No, but really, I’ll try to get better.  This week’s SYTYCD recap will be posted on Thursday.  Guaranteed.  Unless I don’t.

So, how about last episode?

It started off with a Charlie Chaplin-esque dance number choreographed by Tyce.  Unfortunately, the routine started off with the camera all right up in flapper Girl’s grill, now equipped with … [Keep Reading...]

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Vultures!! – A Dance Moms Recap

August 8, 2012
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Livin’ on the dance floor!!  So good.  That may or may not be the best song ever created.

So I told you all on Twitter that there was no way that I was going to write this recap without knocking out five of my beers.  Well, being the overachiever that I am, and because I love you all so dearly, I knocked out a whole sixer.  Thank God my wife will be reviewing this in the morning, because I have no idea what I’m even typing right now.  Enjoy!

Previously … [Keep Reading...]

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