Oh, hello there, Cat. I’ve missed you. It’s been a while since we’ve had the SYTYCD stage filled with dancers, but I think this season is going to be pretty good.
The opening dance tonight was pretty badass, I thought. I really want one of those arm band things that the guys wore on their right arms. I don’t know what they are, but they look awesome and should be back in style. Let’s make this happen.
Oh, great, now we get the awkward four second awkward introductions of the dancers. They really have to eliminate this segment. Although Dareian looked pretty badass with that nutty flip he just did.
This is So You…. This is So You Think You Can Dance. Not sure what happened there, but Cat got a kick out of it.
The judges tonight will be Mia Mi… I mean, Mary Murphy. Cat got confused. Kenny Ortega is the extra judge tonight, and of course we have Nigel Lythgoe. This season we’ll be voting for individuals, not couples, and four dancers will go home next week. Sweet. Two winners this season too, both a guy and a girl. Don’t know how I feel about that one.
On to the dances!
Witney and Chehon:
Witney spells her own name wrong, and plays guitar and drums, and is deathly afraid of crickets. I understand. Chehon grew up Swiss and speaks other languages, some of which may not be real. They’re going to do a samba by Louis Van Amstel, which is perfect for Witney, but requires more shaking than Chehon is accustomed to.
They nailed the routine, as I expected, and Brace Face, who ruined my life by taking off her braces, really stood out. Well, Chehon did too. So I guess they were really good. Nigel liked it, and thinks Witney is a star. He also says Chehon is fantastic, but thinks he needs some work on this style. Duh. It’s not his style, yo. Mary also liked it, but once again thinks Chehon needs work in this style. Dead horse beaten. Kenny also thought it was great, and he could very well be a voice on The Family Guy.
Tiffany and George:
Tiffany is 19, has a weird nickname, and has ridiculously small hands. Like… weirdly small. George loves soul food and has a pet frog. Cool. They’re doing a Sonya Tayeh routine. Her hair looks so much better this season. Good job, Sonya. You’re borderline pretty now. I still just want to hang out with her just to see what kind of awesome stuff she would say.
The dance was really good. Sonya’s routines are always hit or miss for me, but this one was a hit. They killed it. I hope it’s memorable enough for people to vote for. That I’m not sure of.
Mary loved it. She says they surrendered themselves to the choreography. I agree with her that they both made all this difficult stuff look effortless. Kenny is “shaking his head in agreement” which I never shake my head in agreement to. To me a nod agrees and a shake disagrees. But maybe I’m retarded. Kenny thought it was awesome and brought him all kinds of feelings from his youth. Nigel can’t remember that far back, but thinks Sonya has grown up and maybe found love? (Spoiler alert: It’s me). Nigel thought it was awesome, as did I.
Janaya and Brandon:
Time for nine seconds from Janaya. She’s 20, loves Shamu, and doesn’t talk very fast, apparently. Brandon is her partner, and he talks fast and unintelligibly. I think I caught about four words out of the thing, and one of those was “pizookie,” because I’m fat.
Their dance is a NappyTabs routine, so it’s going to be awesome already. It’s about a dude who’s an alcoholic and has to choose between his addiction and the love of his life. This may or may not have happened to me last night. And holy hell, Tabitha is pregnant as shit.
The dance was indeed awesome, and had a happy ending. Not the Asian massage kind, but an actual happy ending. I agreed with Kenny Ortega, that it’s really badass when hip-hop tells a story. I think that’s why NappyTabs kick so much ass. Nigel thought that the routine was a bit clean for the dancers, and he would choose Mary over a bottle of vodka any day. But he only drinks scotch, so that’s why. Mary agrees with Nigel that it just wasn’t dirty enough, especially from Janaya.