So You Think You Can Be a Gay Ninja

by Matt on May 31, 2012 · 0 comments

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Ah, Los Angeles.  No way they’ll find any good dancers there, huh?

This week didn’t disappoint.  It had a little something for everyone.  And Gay Mitchell from Modern Family was a guest judge.  Gotta love him.

The show started with Mary saying all of the stuff she didn’t want to see during auditions, and Mitchell taking the mic and saying that the same stuff she was saying is exactly what he does want to see.  Good call, sir.

First up for auditioning was Alexa, who made it all the way to “the green mile” last year before losing out to Ryan, who kind of looks like a St. Bernard.  But in a good way?  She tore it up, like you would expect her to.   Nigel put her straight through with no judging.  Boom.

Next up was “Johnny Waacks.”  His dance style was whacking.  Maybe they spell it “Waacking” and that’s why his name is spelled so retarded-like, but I refuse to spell it that way or to look it up, because it will never be relevant.  On the bright side, the judges had an actual funny moment that made me laugh when they couldn’t seem to pull it together when asking him about his whacking history.  Unfortunately, they pretty much took away any joke I could have made along the same lines.  Damn judges.

His dance looked stupid, but they sent him to choreo.  Whatevs.

And then Nicki Minaj was dancing/rapping (i.e. talking/moving) on my TV screen in a Pepsi commercial.  Ugh.  I don’t think I could put into words how much she annoys me.  All she does is repeat words over and over.  So annoying.  And why does she have such a dopey voice?  It sounds like she’s joking every time she raps, but apparently she’s being serious.  I don’t know.  Enough about her.

Next we have the chick who swings around on shit and already is a professional dancer for Cirque du Soleil.  She was really good, but of course she was.  She already gets paid a lot of money to  dance.  And then she acts like she’s so surprised when the judges like her and say she’s Top 20 material.  Um… yes.  You should be better than the amateur dancers trying to make it big on the show.  Dumb.

Oh wait, she’s a pole dancer?  Did I mention what a phenomenal dancer she is?

Oh, hey look, a montage of good dancers.  One was a skinny black chick with crazy hair who was inspired by last season’s Sasha.  Maybe a little too much, since she looked exactly like her.

Uh oh.. the teaser before the commercial break shows that the gay twins are coming up.

I really thought these guys were going to annoy me like mad, but turns out they may be the most entertaining dudes in the world.  Ninjas, they called themselves.  They were more like an SNL sketch than real people.  My Twitter exploded with people saying those guys need their own show, and unfortunately, I actually agree.  I’d watch it and write about it.  And no one could get mad at me for calling that a gay show.

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