Dance Moms Season Premiere: Poor Creepy Kendall

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by Matt on January 11, 2012 · 0 comments

So I watched Dance Moms last night, and who better to talk with then you people?  By “you people” I’m not being racist.  Unless there is a race of people who watch the same shitty shows I do, in which case I am a self-loathing racist.

Anyway, I don’t have the time these days to update like crazy, as I’m sure you can tell by the fact that I haven’t posted in months, but I couldn’t resist but talk about Dance Moms.

First, let’s just get it out there that Abby is fat.  Now that we have that covered, we can move on.

Would this show even be worth watching without Chloe’s mom?  She’s hilarious and the only one who says anything worth listening too, besides the mom with the two daughters.  I’m awesome with names if you can’t tell.

And poor, poor, creepy Kendall.  She’s the new girl on the block, who for some reason thought it was a great idea to join Abby Lee’s studio.  You know, because everyone who joins it gets famous.  You know, like… ummmm….  Okay, I can’t think of anyone.  Look, chick, have you not ever watched So You Think You Can Dance?  You can get famous.  Just don’t suck at dancing.  Wait, what?  You’re on a TV Show now?  Oh yeah.  I stand corrected.

Anyway, this little chick looks like she should have been one of JonBenét’s fierce pageant competitors.  You know, fake-looking face, soulless eyes, way too much makeup (which really looks like a stupid word when I type it out and think about it.  Makeup.  Hm.)  The thing nightmares are made of really.

So best of luck to Creepy Kendall as she continues her dance adventure.  Rough start, but maybe she’ll get better, and hopefully she’ll grow on me.  Her mom’s Botoxed face never will, though.

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