Glee Season Premiere – Mr. Schue Mans Up

by Matt on September 23, 2011 · 0 comments

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So I finally got around to watching the Glee season premiere.  I wouldn’t say it was anything spectacular, nor would I say it was terrible.  On a bright note, we didn’t have to listen to any music until about 16 minutes into the show.  On a dark note, there was still music.  And they made up for it plenty with the 14 hour musical number at the end.

Glee is a strange show to me.  I really don’t know why I watch it.  I generally can’t stand any of the musical numbers.  I’d say about 1 out of 20 are good renditions of songs.  That may be pushing it.  I don’t watch this one because of my wife.  My wife can’t stand this show and tells me I’m gay for watching it (Thanks, Sable). Nor do I only watch it so that I can write about it for all you fine people.  Granted, that’s what I tell anyone who asks why I watch the show. But those people wouldn’t be readng my blog anyway.  There’s something about Glee that keeps me coming back, though.  The show is laced with heroin, I think.  Maybe the love of high school drama that my sisters and mom had watching DeGrassi for so many years has rubbed off on me.  All I know is Glee is a show I shouldn’t be watching but can’t stop watching.

This episode was called The Purple Piano Project.  Why is that, you ask?  Because ol’ Schue-man got the great idea that if he painted a bunch of pianos purple and had the Glee kids dance around the cafeteria singing with it, everyone in the school would be waiting in line to join them.  No way that plan wouldn’t work.  It’s totally solid.  After all, every time I see a purple piano, I’m totally inspired.  To burn it (coincidentally, that happens later in the show).

We start the show with the dorky Jewish news reporter kid updating us on what happened over the summer, which is not much.  Rachel and Finn are still together, Kurt is still super gay, the Asians are still Asian, Brittany is still a moron, Santana is still a bitch, and Artie still isn’t standing up to pee.  The only changes are that Mercedes is now dating a big black football player-looking dude that’s not the big black football player dude, and Quinn has turned all emo or goth or hippie or something.  I’m really not sure.  She just looked dirty.  Someone you’d see at a Ghostland Observatory show or something.

Then Shue wakes up next to Emma, the OCD Counselor.  Will tried to kiss her but she’s like, “Say fool, I didn’t brush my teef yet.”  Wait, she doesn’t talk like that?  Well, she does now.  So then she makes him his lunch, and he makes her lunch, which is weird.  Then she sends him off to school, where he promptly “bums” the Glee-ers out by comparing their little 12th place trophy to the gigantic National Champion trophy.  I can only imagine that the Glee club felt how I do every time I watch porn.  Yes, I’m including the midget kind.

Oh, and by the way, the fat chick and the mohawk dude finally broke up.

Next up, Rachel and Kurt announce to the counselor that they’re going to try to get into Julliard.  Miss OCD then smashed their hopes and dreams by telling them that Julliard has no musical theater program.  How do these kids not know this?  I mean, I didn’t, but that kind of information is about 8 keystrokes and a few clicks away on Google.  Maybe they don’t have the internet in Ohio?  Oh, but wasn’t there a student journalist website where kids where posting offensive cartoons about teachers?  Oh wait… that was Boston Public.  Wrong high school.  And decade.  So the two decide to try to go to NYADA.  Or something.  Apaprently it’s not real.  I used the fancy interwebs to find that out.

Sue continues to be a shining point for the show, except it’s almost like they just try and make her too mean now.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s still funny, but I just think they need to find more to do with her character.  What, I don’t know.  I’m not the writer.  I just write stuff.  So she says some racist stuff to the Asians and then cuts out all of the strings from one of the purple pianos (which somehow still plays notes at the end of the show).

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