A Few Bits from the 30 Minutes I’ve Watched So Far of Last Night’s X Factor

by Matt on September 22, 2011 · 0 comments

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So I spent last night eating craploads of steak and drinking many delicious drinks in celebration of my mom’s clean MRI (Go Mom!  Woot!)  Because of this, the only bit of The X Factor that I saw was last night was the first half hour or so.  Here’s a few observations from last night, and hopefully I’ll get a fuller review to you soon.

  • Worst theme song ever.  It sounds like something that should be on a Dance Dance Revolution game.  Seriously, play back the theme song and see if you can’t see an Asian or just some anime-loving dorkstick dancing like mad to the song.
  • I was super confused by the judges.  Why the eff is it this British-sounding chick and not Nicole Scherasdfadaer?  I thought she replaced Brit-chick.  Well I looked it up, and apparently we get Cheryl Cole for the first round of auditions, after which Simon gave her the boot.  Alrighty, then.
  • I don’t like the British underwear model host.  I miss Seacrest already.  Never thought I would say that.  But if you bring a British show to America, get American people to be a part of it, sans Simon.  I know, a lot of you are thinking, “But you love Cat Deeley!”  Well, a) nobody asked you, and b) Cat is pretty and she doesn’t take herself too seriously.  I dig her.  I have enough competition in this country without a British underwear model on my TV here to sweep all the girls off their feet.  I think Cat would like me better anyway, though.  Right? … right?
  • The first chick they auditioned kicked much ass for a 13 year old.  Good job, little chick.  Just don’t dance.  It’s super awkward and makes me and at least 100 million other Americans uncomfortable.
  • The ripped black guy was decent.  I didn’t think his voice was phenomenal, but I could stare at him all day.  You know… if I were gay or something.
  • The Prince guy…  Really?  You put him through?  This show is already losing credibility after three auditions.  You guys know it’s a singing competition, right?
Anyway, that’s all I got from last night’s show.  What did you think?  Anything I should be watching for in the next hour and a half?  I hear a dude gets naked.  Good times?  Thanks for reading!

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