America’s Next Top Awkward Interaction With the Opposite Sex

by Matt on September 29, 2010 · 0 comments

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You wanna be on top?  You wanna be on top?

This intro really creeps me out.  I don’t know why, but it does.  By the way, they all had to be in a shoot in order to make that intro, so why don’t they just make shooting the intro an elimination?  Makes sense to me.

So the girls walk back into the house and YES!  Another picture of Ann the Man to stare at all day (barf).

Lexie reminded us that she sucks and she has to not suck in order to stick around.  Good call, Lex.

Rhianna said that her and Ann are pretty much twins.  I don’t think I would ever want to compare myself to Ann the Man if I were a girl.  Or a guy.  They both have long hair that’s near the same color, and they’re both weird-looking.  But Ann definitely takes the Weird-Looking Cake.

Liz thinks Rihanna can’t handle the pressure of ANTM and Liz wants to win more than anyone.  Uh oh!  Foreshadowing alert!!

So the chicks are hanging out in the house, when Kacey gets the idea to call up the dudes that fake-held them in the air for their “fallen angel” shoot last week.  Lexie is all, “Oh no you di’in’t,” because she doesn’t trust Kacey one bit, ever since Kacey called her out in front of everyone in week one for saying that Hippy-Jordan didn’t even want to be there (which she didn’t).

So here come the dudes!  WEEE!!!  . . .  This is fun… right?  No.  They all just kind of sat there and stared at each other.  It was super awkward, “like a middle school dance,” as one of the girls said. But maybe that’s what models do.  Maybe they just sit and stare each other.  When your whole life is based around looking a certain way, maybe that’s what makes you happy with a relationship.  Just staring.  Whatever.  I don’t judge.  Yes I do.

Kacey was flirting with Shaw, one of the male models, like crazy.  They haven’t boned, though…. yet.  As Kendal said, “It’s okay to flirt a little, but she was flirting too damn hard.”

TYRA MAIL!!!  AHHH!!!!  “Tomorrow your world will be upside-down!”  What does this MEAN???  This show is just full of puzzles, huh?  Let’s take a few guesses.  Maybe they’ll be in a room where the floor looks like the ceiling and the ceiling looks like the floor.  Maybe they’ll be hung by their feet over a pit of hungry alligators.  Anyone?

Turns out they’ll just be taking pictures while on a roller coaster.

So they show up and Knott’s Berry Farm, which apparently is the oldest theme park in America.  Here they find out they have to ride the “Silver Bullet” and they’ll all be assigned emotions to convey as they get their picture taken going full-speed.

Hey, Jane said something boring.The line of the day was when one of  the girls said something about how she might pee her pants on the ride, the least gay-looking judge said, “Try not to pee when you’re above us.”  That actually got a chuckle out of me.  Way to go, ANTM.

Chris is being a huge sissy about the whole thing, and contemplates not even doing it.  She has shaky legs and can hardly stand, but eventually sucks it up and gets on.  Unfortunately, she just screams the entire way like Tyra just walked into the room, and she doesn’t even try to pose for the camera.  Well, unfortunately for her.  Fortunate for me, because I think she’s super-annoying.

I guess lucky for her, her assigned emotion was “distracted.”  I guess she was.

Honestly, all of these pictures looked pretty bad.  But I guess you rarely see a roller coaster picture that doesn’t look bad.  Unless it’s of me, of course.  Then it’s phenomenal.

Man-Face Liz ended up winning the contest, which means she gets a photo shoot by Tyra and she would get to pick two friends to go with her.  She ended up choosing Chris and Kayla.  Yay.  More Chris.

The shoot started out with Tyra talking about all the crap she’d be doing soon.  Plug-whore.  Then they put some long hair on Liz, and she looked much better.  Man-Face with Man-Hair is a little too much man for someone with Woman-Parts.

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