Boo-gate, as Tom Bergeron called it.
In case you missed it, there’s this huge stink over whether or not Sarah Palin got booed in the audience as Tom went over to sit next to her and interview her about the show. Frankly, it’s not like it would surprise me if she got booed. It’s just another borderline celebrity that a lot of people don’t really like. I think Sarah Palin could be a contestant on the show as easy as her daughter could. That being said, I don’t think she did get booed. Once it showed the clips last night, it sort of cleared it up. The audience appeared to be having a late reaction and booing at the high scores that Jennifer Grey and her little man-dancer got, thinking they should have gotten nines and not eights. Wah.
Or maybe Sarah Palin was just getting booed. Who really cares? Politics have no place in TV. Unless you’re watching C-SPAN. Or cable news. Or The Daily Show. Okay, maybe politics have a place on TV. But not on Dancing With the Stars, dammit!
So you wanna talk about some dancing or what? Because that’s what manly men do. Let’s do this.
Rick Fox and Cheryl Burke:
Rick and Cheryl started things off with a jive. Rick was kind of a woman about it because he injured his foot when he played basketball back when I was still wearing jerseys because it was the hip thing to do. Remember that? Middle school, anyone? Yeah, most people don’t, which is why no one remembers Rick Fox injuring his foot, which is why he needs to get over it and dance like a man. Or something.
And I suppose he did. He danced pretty well, and he had all the facial expressions to go along with it. He looked super goofy and cheesy, but hey, he was doing a super goofy and cheesy dance. I thought he did well and I think he’ll continue to do pretty well on the show. The judges liked him well enough too and gave him a 21/30.
Florence Henderson and Corky Ballas:
Momma Brady told us this week that she wants to be judged as a contestant, not as an old chick. Lady, you’re older than me times three. People are going to notice that you’re old and judge you on your oldness. That’s the way life works. If people were just judged as people, there would be no Special Olympics. And it’s not like you’re competing against trained dancers. Look at your competition. People like you because you’re old and funny. Embrace it.
Her dance was pretty decent. She always looks like she’s acting, though. She never looks sincere about anything she’s doing. I don’t really mind, but it doesn’t work so well for dancing. You know, because I’m such a dancing expert. Anyway, the judges thought it was decent also, and scored her a 19/30.
Brandy and Maks Chmerswtrhsdfg… Just Maks:
Brandy’s a bitch. Seriously. This chick has already got me hating her and it’s only the second week. All she does it talk back to Maks and says he’s wrong about everything. Even as they were getting judged she’s saying stuff like “not my fault,” and “that was his idea” and “I like killing puppies.” I think I heard that, at least. I’m not sure.
Her dance was … eh. She wasn’t awful, but she was just kind of… odd. She knew it all and did it okay, but she kind of flailed about like a monkey with its ass on fire. Like I said, it was just a little off for me. But it’s okay, because it’s all Maks’ fault. Just like her celebrity status falling off the face off the earth. Definitely Maks’ fault. The judges scored them two high at 21/30.
Michael Bolton and Chelsie Hightower:
You ain’t nothin’ but a hound dog, Michael Bolton. Apparently Chelsie took that to heart, because she had him crawl out of a dog house at the beginning of the routine. The name on his house was “Bolt.” Get it. Because his last name is Bolton? HAAAAA!!!!! Okay. Moving on.
Bolt walked into his rehearsals wearing a surgical mask, apparently because he got a case of laryngitis and just wanted to keep breathing in his own nasty sick breath all day. Fun stuff. Him and Chelsie got into a little tiff when they argued about something no one cares about and Chelsie threw out a “whatever.” WOAH! This isn’t “whatever land,” lady. This is Dancing With the Stars. This is serious business! We don’t blow off problems here. We fix them. Dammit. Get your crap together with your “whatever” talk. . . . Well, that was pretty much Bolton’s response. Something like that.