It’s always hard to figure out how to start writing one of these reviews.
Last night’s show just wasn’t that compelling to me. I was also incredibly tired when I was watching, so that didn’t help. But last week I was annoyed when they were making 6 dancers take up two hours. But five dancers in two hours this week? Good God. We get it. They can dance. We don’t need 58 dances from each of them each night in order to see how good they are.
“Why are all the dancers getting injured?” Maybe because they’re learning a thousand dances each week. It’s just a theory. Probably wrong, but it’s a theory.
And speaking of injuries, why don’t we get down to it? Enter Bitch-Out Billy. Nigel informed us that Billy “hurt” his knee. The doctor told Billy he could dance if he wanted to (Dang it, now I got The Safety Dance stuck in my head. I hate that I love this song.).
So Billy could dance but won’t. I wonder how Wong and Galvatron feel about that. Pretty sure they would have been on that stage if the doctor had said they could. But instead, Billy says, “You know what? Pretty sure I’m gonna look absolutely ridiculous doing a step routine, so I think I’ll sit this one out. Good luck, Kent.” Really, Billy? Really? And what do you bet all of the sudden he can dance again tonight at the results show? The sauce is weak.
So Cat steps out to tell us this news, dressed in what reminds me of the part in Sleeping Beauty when the fairies are putting the different dresses on her by throwing cloth all around her. Obscure reference? Yes. Gay reference? No. Sleeping Beauty is not gay. There’s a dragon.
We also learned that the costume designer for the show won an Emmy. Really? Is this season the same costume designer as last season? Yikes.
There’s also an extra judge tonight, but instead of bringing in Lil C or Sonya or even the ever-annoying Mary Murphy, they brought in some dude named Kenny Ortega who’s done a lot of stuff but no one really cares about. We want our old judges, dammit.
Tonight everyone will do three dances: One with an all-star, one with a contestant, and a solo.
Hey that format sounds familiar. Oh yeah, last episode. Except now there are three less dances. And still the same amount of time. Damn you, SYTYCD producers.
On to the dances…
Lauren and Twitch:
Lauren is going to dance hip-hop with Twitch? I already love it.
The dance had a wild west theme and they were two dueling outlaws. Lauren did some crazy backbend and rolled across the stage like a tumbleweed. Weeeeird.
It started with fight choreography, which we all know I like. Bonus points. Not to mention, I’m pretty sure every move they just did I used to use to win at Mortal Kombat back in 5th grade. Double bonus.
Lauren definitely held her own with Twitch, which is impressive. And most anything Tabitha and Napoleon choreograph makes a dancer that much more awesome.
Adam loved it and Mia said Lauren “went so hard.” Either that’s slang I don’t know because I’m blog-writer, or she was talking about Twitch.
Twitch was sweating like crazy, and right after I thought that, Nigel said that Twitch looked like he’d been ridden hard and put up wet. Um. Okay. Not much to say to that one!
Nigel also said the word “bad” is weird to him because it means “not good” in his homeland of not-America. Then he followed it up by using the words “swag,” “buck,” “nasty,” and “sick.” Really he’s right. None of those words mean anything good. But if you say any of those words, you’re either a cool black dude or a douchebag of any other ethnicity.
The judges talked for days. I can see how they’re going to fill up the time left by Bitch-Out Billy’s absence.
Jose and Allison:
Hey, Allison doesn’t look like a 40 year old this week. Nice.
Here we go with a Sonya routine. She’s always really hit or miss with me. And how did her hair get so long so fast? Hm.