So You Think You Can Be Tahitian

by Matt on July 14, 2010 · 0 comments

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So as I was watching last night, the first thing I noticed was how short the intro was.

One, two, three, four, five… six?  I swear there was one more…

Oh no!  Galvatron is injured too?  Dang it!  Why can’t it be Billy or Jose?  No justice.  No freakin’ justice.

So it looks like we’ll probably lose another person by default instead of losing someone because they’re awful.  Not that that ever happens anyway.  Only the awful survive.  It’s Darwinism or something.

Hey, Cat actually said the word “judges.”  I’ve only watched three seasons of this show (as I’ve known my wife for just over two years) and as many seasons have gone by, I’ve never heard her say it, so I never understood the hoopla.  Wait… I still don’t.  Ah well.

So how come Galvatron wasn’t in the audience?  That one guy.. uhh.. the Asian dude.. oh yeah, Alex!  He was in the audience after he got injured.  So where the hell is Galvatron?

Okay, Cat says we have ten dances tonight.  Ten dances.  Two hours.  Holy hell.  This is gonna drag on.

I almost barfed when Jose pulled Courtney’s name out of the hat and said, “Courtney, she’s got nice lips.”  Ugh.  Like he’s ever kissed a human.

Then Jose also pulls out a gold star, which is appropriate, seeing as how they seem to give him a gold star for every shitty performance he has.  “A” for effort, Jose!  Oh, it means he’s dancing with an all star twice instead of another contestant?  And the all-star is Dominic?  And they’re doing a b-boy routine?  Oh, good.  Way to keep things fair, SYTYCD.

And on to the dances we go…

Oh, and by the way, I’ve stopped listing the song and artist they danced to, because frankly I forgot to write them down and it’s way too much work to rewind my DVR and find get them all.  I mean, come on.  I still have to watch the ESPYs tonight.

Lauren and Mark:

They’re doing a Tahitian dance.  Awesome.  We can all relate to and understand that.  Seriously.  It’s quite often that I find myself getting out of the shower, using a towel as a skirt, and wiggling my hips to some sweet soulful Tahitian jams.  Yeah, how’s that for a mental picture, ladies?

A commenter last week pointed out the fact that this season the costumes are bit outrageous and distracting.  Well, this dance just made her more correct than she thought.  Not even Cat could speak without getting distracted by the gigantic feather-leaf things on Lauren’s head.

Looks like me and Nigel were kind of on the same page.  It was good, but he has no idea what to say.   Mia said it was like a duck in heat and she loved ducks.  I’m strangely following her on this one.  Mmmm… Daisy Duck in heat…

Well it was a retarded dance style for the show, but the judges pimped it like crazy, so hopefully America still sees that Lauren is worth keeping.

Grade:  B-, I guess?

Adacheeky and Anya:

Competitive Salsa.  Nice.  Because Regular salsa just isn’t enough for two people who don’t do salsa.

This dance was very Dancing With The Stars-ish to me.  It was good in that “I’d like it more if I were in a nursing home” sort of way.

Adacheeky held his own, but for the most part Anya carried him through that one.

And the judges love it!  Who would have thought that they’d love something Adacheeky did the week after they totally lambasted him?  They definitely didn’t catch any flack for that.

Mia kind of copped out by saying it was good without really saying it was good.  I don’t even know what she said.  All I heard was “Blah blah Adacheeky, I think you suck but I’m saying you’re good anyway.”

The Shankster said that it was some “hard-ass” choreography.

When asked what Cheeky was thinking when he saw the choreography for the first time, to which he responded simply, “Bottom three.”  I dig his honesty.

Grade:  B

Jose and Courtney:

These two get to do a Broadway number together.  Should be great.

Really, it doesn’t matter.  Jose could walk up on stage, throw his own poo at the audience like a monkey, and walk off, and still not get sent home.  He’s doing a b-boy routine with Dominic after this.  He’s safe.

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