So You Think You Can Get Pregnant at Prom

by Matt on July 7, 2010 · 0 comments

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Bah dah bah bah, So You Think You Can, Bah dah bah bah, So You Think You Can DANCE Dance dance dance…

That’s a catchy ass song.  Especially since the only words in it are the name of the show.  But it gets stuck in my head like crazy.

Anyway, last night was pretty lame.  It’s not like it was bad, it just wasn’t very interesting.  I guess it should have been, but I didn’t find myself very captivated.  I can’t pinpoint why.

However, I can say that these two hour long shows have got to go.  I don’t have the attention span for this stuff!   Look, judges, we only need to see them dance once.   Twice is just a little too much.

I did like the fact that they’d actually be dancing with each other instead of the all-stars, though.  That was a nice twist.  You know, the kind of twist that makes you think it’s a twist when really you’re just seeing what you’ve seen every other season of SYTYCD.

Unfortunately, Alex hurt himself at rehearsal, so he probably can’t compete anymore, if I had to guess.

I’d be annoyed if I were the other contestants.  It’s like winning a game of pool because your opponent scratches on the 8-ball when you have seven balls left on the table still.  It’s just not very fulfilling to beat someone by default.

I wonder if they’ll let him try again next season if he can’t go on this season.

So when the show opened, they did their awkward intro dances, and this time when they finished, they didn’t even bother separating the guys and the girls because the girls all blew this year.   There’s only two left.  They’re both good, but I’m not sure how they’ll hold up against the almighty Jose.  Because you know, he’s awesome, and stuff.  You know, not his dancing, but like, his heart.  Or something.

On to the dances…

Lauren and Pasher:

These two did a Cha-cha to Telephone by Lady Gaga and Beyonce, which is definitely my favorite song ever.

Hey Lauren, where’d your clothes go?  I’m pretty sure that was the same dress from last week, but she got pissed off at it and cut it into pieces.

The dance was pretty dern good, I thought.

Nigel thought it was good, and that Lauren has a “another weapon in her asshole.”  Can he say that on network TV?  Oh wait, what?  He said “arsenal”?  Oh.  “Asshole” fits better, so I’m sticking with that.

Mia’s headband has got to go.  That thing looked retarded.  Not like short-bus retarded, but like politically correct retarded.

Ah well, at least she liked the dance.

Grade:  B+

Jose and Lauren:

Apparently Jose likes Lauren’s butt.  All-star Lauren, not contestant Lauren.  I don’t know how he feels about contestant Lauren’s butt.  Or Billy or Robert’s butt for that matter.  But it’s good to see at least a little testosterone on this show every now and then.

Wait, what?  Lauren thinks he’s never been this intimate before because he’s so super awkward?  There goes the testosterone.  It’s been real.  Real short.

They did a contemporary routine to Never Tear us Apart by INXS.

This dance wasn’t fluid at all.  Seemed like he was thinking about every move really hard before he did it.  Yeah, I think Lauren’s right.  Pretty sure he’s never been that intimate.

And yet, here come the judges piling on to how wonderful he is.

Nigel told him that he “had accepted the challenge of So You Think You Can Dance.”  I’m thinking all of the contestants have.  One might even call them “Challengers.”

Mia told him it’s his lack of ego that makes him so appealing.  Apparently she wasn’t watching his original audition when all he talked about was how he was like Legacy but way beter.  Dooooouche.

Once again, the judges give him a “you suck, but we love you” while I give him a failing grade because his corn rows look like the hair of an old black-haired Barbie doll.

Grade:  F

Kent and Comfort:

Kent… doing hip-hop… with a black chick.  God help her.

They danced to You’re Not My Girl by Ryan Leslie.

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